One of the most common pieces of advice for couples looking to adopt is to “be yourselves.” We know how tough this can be. When you’re trying to adopt, the temptation is to make your family look as appealing as possible so you have the best “chance.” But there’s a catch: if you try to make your adoption profile appealing to everyone, chances are you won’t stand out to anyone.
Instead of trying to make your profile appeal to everybody, the key is to embrace who you are as a family and focus on that. Here are a few tips to help you be yourself as you create your profile:
Tip 1: Be Open and Honest
Many adopting couples think that their adoption profile is to give the birth mother or birth family information. This is true – but it’s not everything. A more important purpose of the adoption profile is to show the birth parents what life would be like in your family for a child. Because of this, it’s important to be open and honest with the birth parents about who you are as parents and a couple.
For example, if you put in your profile, “We love nature and the outdoors,” it certainly sounds nice, but it doesn’t tell birth families much about who you are. But if you write, “We’ve visited camp sites and nature preserves around the country in our RV, where we love to hike, fish, and sleep under the stars,” it tells much more about who you are as people. It might not appeal to every person who reads your profile, but for those who like it they’ll feel much more connected to you.
Tip 2: Give Lots of Detail
Another thing to consider when creating your adoption profile is that you never know what people are going to bond with you over. We’ve seen birth mothers choose families because of the favorite foods they listed, the kind of dog they own, or even the color the family painted the nursery. In other words, it’s in your best interest to share as much as possible about your home and family. The more you share, the more chances you give a birth mother to find something to bond over.
However, at the same time, you don’t want to fill your adoption profile with so much detail that it becomes overwhelming. Try to think about details that stand out about you and your family. What makes you unique? What do you do that is special? How is your family different from every other one?
Remember that these details don’t have to be exciting – not every couple has climbed Kilimanjaro or backpacked across the country. Instead, they should just be your own. Tell about the special meals you cook on weekends, the movies you love to watch over and over, or where you love to go on vacation. Those are the details that help mothers really know you.
Tip 3: Focus On Your Story
Remember that your adoption profile isn’t just a list of accomplishments or reasons why you’d be a good adoptive parent. It’s a little piece of you that shows others who you are and what you love. A person who reads your adoption profile should feel like they know you as a person. It should be something that’s interesting to read even for people who aren’t placing a child for adoption.
Remember, though to be sure you’re not writing with a focus on who you will be in the future, once a baby comes into your life. Birth parents want to place children with parents who are complete people. The baby isn’t meant to fill a hole in your life, but to be a loving addition. It’s OK to address the future when writing your profile, but don’t dwell on it.
Get Help and Advice from Deaconess Today
If you’re looking for help through the adoption process, call Deaconess Pregnancy & Adoption in Oklahoma City. As Oklahoma’s oldest and most experienced adoption agency, we’re here to walk with you through each step of your adoption. Call (405) 949-4200 today, or visit us on Facebook to see pictures, reviews, and more.